It seems to be an inevitable issue for most curly haired women; at some point someone will touch our hair. We get it, our hair is gorgeous. It’s ok to be jealous, to be curious and ask questions but it isn’t ok to touch without our permission. Many people have mixed feelings about whether or not it’s o for strangers to touch our curls, and curlies say that even being asked is one of their top annoyances. While some curlies are ok with letting others touch their hair, most of us answer the question with a resounding no. If you’re ready to start pushing back when someone inappropriately touches your curls, we’ve got some suggestions for what to say.
Stay calm: You have a few choices when someone touches your curls, and you can start by staying calm. If a person asks and it’s ok with you, offer them education on how and where to touch your curls. If you’re not ok with it, take a step back to put some space between yourself and them with a smile and hand up. You’ll make your point without even saying a word.
Be tough: If staying calm doesn’t work for you, develop a firmer response. If you’re asked before someone reaches for your curls, tell them no, because it would make you uncomfortable. If that person can’t understand your boundaries, tell them they need to respect your personal space. If you’re worried about creating an awkward situation, don’t be. You’re not the one with boundary issues.
Get angry: If you are just not having it, you might need to dial up how you handle an over-excited curl grabber. If someone asks first, feel free to put it back on them and ask to touch their hair. This will highlight just how weird it actually is to touch someone else’s hair, especially if they’re a stranger. You can also give a firm “no”, and walk away. This will make it very clear that your curls aren’t up for grabs. If someone just touches your hair without asking, feel free to reach out and stroke their strands as well. Hopefully, they’ll be so taken aback and surprised they’ll realize how inappropriate they’re being and will stop.
When all’s said and done, any way you want to react to someone touching your curls is warranted. They’re your curls, so you get to decide who’s hands touch them. Read more about responding to inappropriate curl touching here and let us know what you say when someone touches your curls without asking!